Count Gregory recently had the pleasure of viewing Victorian Candidate. "Pleasure, didn't the LOD lose?" Well...yes, we did...but we made Phileas cry first, and that's all that matters. Still...even with Phileas crying and all...the Count found one scene uncomfortably emotional, and demanded that a lighter version be written. So it was...for fear of CUPGMVV and here it is. Please read the author's disclamor in white before you read the actual scene, which is in red.
WARNINGS from the author - PLEASE READ
1. Victorian Candidate Spoilers
2. The author did not write this with offensive intentions, but certain parts of the scene could be percieved that way. Please do not be offended. Please. Pretty please?
3. If you are offended by a certain bodily function, you shouldn't read this.
4. If you are offended by a certain bodily function, but you read this anyway and tell the author she has crossed the line and give her a heart attack and send her spiraling into the depths of depression, you obviously do not ever indulge in this particular bodily function. May you spontaneously combust with grace and style.
(RF is perched on the Queens meeting table before PF, and before the eyes of the people in the meeting, including the Queen. Both have tears in there eyes, and are overall very emotional. Phileas grips the wires of the bomb in his hands, holding them a few inches apart. They are separated only by Rebeccas hand)
RF: (sniffles and smiles sadly) Phileas...You're a good man...
PF: (looks confused and sad, but about to smile; his eyes are still wet; he drops the wires)
(Prolonged, very loud farting noise; one of the men seated at the table looks very embarrassed; several of the other men snicker, some look ill)
PF: (coughs quietly and begins to back away slowly, pretending that he didn't notice it)
RF: (crawls off the table and does the same; both of the Foggs continue to cough and back away until they reach the door, which they turn and run thru)
Man: Please pardon me. I just thought this scene could use a little comic *relief*.
(A few of the other men chuckle and try to hide their smiles. The Queen looks furious)